[00:00.46] I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of "Ah" [00:05.64] You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain [00:10.46] It just didn't–, it just kind of numbed things [00:12.81] I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem [00:16.96] I just remember liking it more and more [00:20.18] People try to tell me that I had a problem [00:22.46] I would say, "Get that fucking person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me, they know nothing about my fucking life, are they out of their fucking mind?" [00:28.95] I'm not out there shooting heroin, I'm not out there fucking, you know, putting coke up my nose, I'm not smoking crack [00:34.83] You're struggling with the argument of "Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem? Can you control it, or can you not?" [00:41.54] And I literally thought I could control it [00:43.50] You're taking things that people are giving you that, you don't even know what the fuck they are [00:48.48] They look like a pill, and they look– they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know? [00:56.04] Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato [00:59.09] You know what I mean? It's th-the same thing, it's all in the same family, fuck it, take it [01:02.73] Had I had gotten to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died [01:07.39] My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything [01:10.51] They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it [01:13.37] My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed [01:18.55] And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking [01:21.86] I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like, "I'm gonna fucking die", like, I'm-I'm looking at my kids, and I need to be here for this [01:30.92] Coming off of everything, I literally was up 24 hours a day for three weeks straight [01:36.35] And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a fucking minute [01:42.03] Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV [01:46.32] I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills [01:50.34] It's been a-a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing [01:54.40] I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy, or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general, without being on something [02:03.80] So, I would say that t-to anybody that i-it does get better, you know? It just– it does [02:09.81]